Beautiful Poems

~These are a few poems I found that are beautiful and very sad. Don't read these if you don't want to cry!~


My Mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.
But I can hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others... a smile of disguise!
But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom through Heaven's open door...
I try to tell her that angels protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her... or ease the burden she bears.
So if you get a chance, go visit her... and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says... no matter what she feels.
My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal. 
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We thought of you today, But that is nothing new
We thought of you yesterday And will tomorrow, too
We think of you in silence And make no outward show
For what it meant to lose you Only those who love you know
Remembering you is easy We do it everyday
It's the heartache of losing you That will never go away.
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Today I saw you crying I sent you lots of love
I hope that you can feel it I'm here just up above
Today I jumped from cloud to cloud And flew across the sky
And God told me all about you And why you often cry
He told me that you were special And your love for me is so deep
He told me that one day I'll meet you here And in your arms I'll leap
I met a nice man the other day He sat me on his knee
He told me that he knew you, Mom And do you know what else he told me?
He told me all about you About your pretty face
About your kindness, love and joy About your sweet grace
I told that man I knew you Cause we were once so close
I grew in your belly, Mommy Just beneath your clothes
I told that man you talked to me And prayed for me each night
And how I felt your love right there And how you would hug me tight
No, you're not a stranger, Mom Although we're now apart
It's really not that far, Mommy I know I'm in your heart
I can't wait to see you, Mommy God says you'll be here soon
Until then, I'm with you And I love you to the moon
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I'll never know if you were a boy or a girl, or what I would have named you.
I'll never know what sports you liked, or your favorite toy, old or new.
I'll never know the color of your hair, or the beauty in your eyes.
I'll never be able to tickle your belly, or pinch your chubby little thighs.
I'll never see your "first day of school", or the drawings to hang up.
I'll never be able to kiss your boo boos, and bandage them all up.
I'll never see your graduation, or your homecoming dance.
I'll never see your first crush, and when you hold their hand.
I'll never see you walk down that aisle, whether it be a tux or a beautiful gown.
I'll never see your children, though I would have loved to have them around.
I'll never know which career you chose, or see that first promotion.
I'll never see your first new home, or the joy of knowing you accomplished it on your own.
I'll never see you grow wise with age, or learn from your mistakes.
God must have needed you, that's for sure, for something of importance.
I'll never know these things, that I would have held so close. Could this be a blessing in disguise?
Now....I'll never know. 

The worst week of my life.

This has been the worst week of my life. As everyone knows I was pregnant. On Monday things started to go wrong. So Jeff took me to the hospital. While we were there they couldn't really find anything wrong. They sent me home with the diagnoses of "threatened miscarriage" and told me to come back in two days for more test. We went back on Wednesday, they drew my blood, ran some test, and then I received the worst news ever... we had loss the baby. I felt as though someone stabbed me in the heart with a knife. Every breath since hearing that news has been labored. I can't stop thinking about what could have been with this baby. What is a boy or a girl? Did the baby have my eyes? or Jeff's smile? I can't stop thinking about one of my favorite things to do as a mother. I love going into the kids room after they fall asleep and put my hand on their chests and feel them breathing... that is something I will never be able to do with this baby. There will be no first smile, no first laugh. I have nothing tangible to remember this baby with. Only memories... The shock of finding out I was pregnant again, and the pain of find out I was no longer pregnant. Now I kiss Madalyn and Xander a little harder, and hug them a little longer. I love and cherish them. I am so blessed to have them. It really hurts not having my baby with us anymore, but it does bring some comfort knowing that he is heaven, and one day I will see him for the first time. "So baby let sweet Jesus hold you, until mom and dad can hold you"